… For your birthday?
You didn’t forget, did you?
Sort of? Sorry, man. I usually don’t pay attention to the date very much… It’s really June 23rd? Man, time flies.
What’ll this make me, now? Seventeen?
The flowers I planted still haven’t bloomed… Ugh.
Plan B… How do you make a cake?
Wait, you’re making a cake? What for?
… Please don’t mention that, Sonic. I promise… I-I swear, I do not do those…
-He pauses, shuddering.-
I don’t do that anymore.
I will try… I’ll try not to hold myself back. You’re saying it’s okay because you want us to be happy. You’re saying it because you want us to be happy… And you love me. And I love you. I’ll try for you, I promise.
Hey, Shadow, buddy. It’s okay if you still do that, you know. I don’t care anymore, I promise. Like, it’s a healthy libido, right? I do those things, too. It’s fine.
I’m saying it because I want you to be happy, dude. It seems like you haven’t been in ages…
I forced myself on you, Sonic. You had every right to shame me.
… I don’t even know where to start with trusting myself.
I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about when you…well, y’know. To yourself.
And about those thoughts in general.
Well, you could maybe start with not constantly holding yourself back? Dude, if I say it’s okay, I’m not saying it just to appease you or something.
You didn’t mess up…
… I just… I don’t want to… Having those desires makes me sick, Sonic. I do understand that they are natural and that we cannot help them and that there is nothing wrong with them, it’s just that I do not trust myself with them.
Sure I did. I shamed you for that kind of thing and now you’re like this because of me.
Shadow, you should really learn to start trusting yourself. This isn’t going to get anywhere otherwise…
It’s not you I don’t trust, Sonic… It’s myself and… I just… I-I believe I clouded your mind with the idea that I didn’t do this to you. I believe that because I thought that way back then, you picked that up from me and believed it too. It’s not uncommon in relationships and… I…
… I just really don’t want to harm you again, Sonic. I’m trying, I’m trying so hard to get passed this but… I always remember you shaking like that because of my stupid urges and what I did to you and how fucking disgusting I was… I just want you safe. I want you safe and happy.
And since when have you been an expert in my line of thinking? What makes you believe I haven’t always thought that way? Just ‘cause I wasn’t well off then didn’t mean I thought you broke me, dude.
I’m unhappy with the amount you insult yourself. Not just publicly, either. In your noggin. Over stuff I’m not even upset about anymore. All it does is continuously remind me of how much I messed up, too.
To be frank with you, your urges had nothing to do with it. It was your actions. You should stop stuffing yourself and being a hypocrite and face the facts: there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. There was stuff wrong with what you did, sure, but you’ve learned from it and that’s all I care about.
-Clearly he didn’t believe him… How could he?-
I’ve talked to you about this like forty times. Is it really that hard to trust me?
… You were trembling. You looked so distraught and sick… You didn’t want me anywhere near you.
You didn’t destroy me.
… I… I’m just trying to help.
Being completely melodramatic about what you did isn’t helping.